Hungry, I run to you.

Okay, so if you haven't already picked up on it, I write a lot of songs in my blogs. Thats because I think worship through music is such an amazing way to show the Lord our love for him. I'm not an amazing singer... actually, most of the time I'm quite the opposite :P... but I always feel so close to the Lord when I am singing praises to him. I guess you could say that songs put my feelings into words, except for I don't have to write them :)

Anyways, yesterday at Switch, Mark talked about starving for God. For a relationship with him. The mindset of him. Being his hands and feet. The Lord is the only one who can satisfy us. Not relationships, not material things, not activities, only the Lord.

Hungry, I come to you
For I know you satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry

Broken, I run to you
For your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your arms are open wide

God alone. He truly is all that can satisfy us. I don't know why we turn to people or things before the Lord. Like for real. I mean I do it to, but its stupid!! God is always there for us. Always. Just as he is starving for us, we should be starving for him.

Romans 7:18-19
I want to do what is right, but I can't.
I want to do what is good, but I don't.
I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

That pretty much sums up my life :P Starving for God means trying as hard as we can to do what is right and good and not to do what is wrong. Another verse that Mark shared with us described what we should be like if we truly love the Lord with all our hearts.

Jerimiah 20:9
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

Oh, Lord. Precious Savior. God, this is who I long to be. Sometimes its easy to share your fire with the world. But, Oh, Lord. It's not always easy. And, Jesus, you know that. You came down to earth as a humble baby and you were mocked and tortured way worse than I am. You are such an amazing example. I long to be like you, Lord. Give me your eyes, so that I will see the world from your perspective. Make me your hands and feet, God. I'll go where you send me. I love you. Amen.

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Back to the starving thing, and also just along with giving ourselves completely to the Lord, Mark also talked about literally starving ourselves. Okay, maybe not literally starving... but fasting. By fasting, you show the Lord that he matters more than food. Its also a symbolic thing of saying, "God, you are all that can satisfy me. I don't live on bread alone, but on your word." How amazing to think of putting God ahead of even food! He is all that matters; without him, my life is pointless. Church of the Highlands is going on a fasting retreat this weekend called Saturate. I really wanted to go, but I talked to my mom, and for several reasons, she decided it would be better for me to stay home this weekend. I was really frustrated at first, but when I was praying about it at Switch last night, I was thinking "Why do I want to go on this retreat?". I know that those going to Saturate will have amazing speakers and great worship, but I can spend my own quiet time with the Lord from my very own bedroom! I pray that God would teach me, as I also pray for everyone going to Saturate. For those that don't know the Lord, that their lives would be dramatically changed. And for those, who are followers of Christ, that they would learn amazing things. God, you are all that can satisfy us. So, I run to you, hungry. God, teach me to be more and more like you. Amen.

Enough.

Wow. I haven't updated in a while and I have a ton to write. So, get prepared, cause this is gonna be long :P

First of all, this morning in City Gates (our Sunday morning youth stuff at MBCC), Mark talked about encouragement. This week has been crazy and I've hurt a lot of people's feelings, just as they've hurt mine. Encouragement. Okay, for real, this whole week, I don't think I thought ONCE about how I could encourage someone. Just one person. It shouldn't have been that hard. But, I was frustrated and I chose to get angry and because of my anger, I sinned. God says its okay to get angry as long as we don't sin. As long as we still encourage one another. As long as we are still doing the best we can do to benefit HIS kingdom. But, I totally did not do that this week. I am so sorry to the Lord and to the people I have hurt and I hope they forgive me.

Second of all, my huddle group is going to be going through Acts in the second semester which I'm really really excited about!! We read chapters one and two today, and I already learned so much! One neat fact I learned is the difference in the meaning of disciple and apostle. Disciple means someone who is learning, like a follower or an apprentice. Apostle means a messenger or a missionary. Jesus calls us to be his witnesses "even to the ends of the earth". What a challenge to be such an example for him. His followers certainly were! They brought about 3000 people to Christ in ONE DAY. The Bible says there were about 120 Christians there at the time, which Alison told us, makes each person to have brought 25 people to Christ in one day!! Amazing. The Holy Spirit can use us in such amazing ways, if we just allow him to work in us. They were gathered together constantly in prayer (1:14). What an amazing example. I pray that I will be more like that.

Also, tonight, we talked about being "in the world and not of it" (John 17:3). Mark talked several verses relating to this one. The first one is 1 John 2:15.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."

This verse doesn't mean you can't love people on earth, friends or family, or you can't like where you live. Nothing like that. It just means that God should still be most important. We can't be under the influence of the world. God is our everlasting Father and we should follow his ways, walk in his footsteps, and daily try to be more and more Christ-like. The next verse reminds us that our true home is not on this earth, but in heaven with the Lord. (Philippians 3:20) It encourages us to store up our treasures in heaven, because "where your treasure is, there will be your heart also (Luke 12:34)." 1 Peter 1:1, reminds us that we are aliens or strangers in this world. Once again, our true home is in heaven. Mark told us three things to do to keep the mindset of looking forward to heaven:

1. Pray regularly for Jesus to come back. (1 Corinthians 16:22)
2. Keep watch over your accumulation. (Matthew 6:20)
3. Accept suffering and hardship as God's way of separating you from the earth.

So, all of this goes to say, this has been a hard week, but today the Lord has shown me so so much and I am ready to humble myself before him. I love you, Jesus, with all my heart.

All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Faith.

Wow. It's been awhile. Merry Christmas!! Happy 2010! Did any of y'all make new year's resolutions? I never have before, but this year, Hannah-Katherine and I decided to both make one. HK decided to read through the Bible in a year and I decided to finish my memorization of the book of James. (I started it 2 or 3 years ago and then I just kinda quit when I got to chapter 2ish... So I decided to finish it. :)) We also made a goal to text each other every day to hold each other accountable. We are told that "When two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them". I had memorized this part before, but going back over it and reviewing it, it totally took on a new meaning. Before, I was just reading it to get through it, but this time, I've been really soaking it in and trying to understand and relate it to my life.

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily good. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds. Show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith by what I do." You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder. You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered hi son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. ~James 2:15-22

This passage was a great reminder to me about WHY we do the things we do. Sometimes, I for sure feel like I do things for the right reason. But then, I'll get bored, or think of other things I have to do, and I get a bad attitude and I'm just serving to look good or get it over with. I pray that I would have a Christ-like attitude more often. I know I'm not perfect, but I am saved. I am saved by Jesus Christ. He died a terrible death to rescue me from my selfish sins. Thank you, Lord. When I think about it, I am overwhelmed with an peace I can't even describe. I can relax in his presence without stressing out about school or drama or relationships. God, fill my life with youre peace. Let me be a light for you and shine for the world. God, thank you, thank you, thank you!! Its all I can do but be thankful for the amazing life you've given me. I take it for granted so often, Lord, but it is a gift from you. Use me as a tool to spread your word. Help be to truly be your humble servant. God, let my actions prove my faith. Thank you. I love you. God, I love you, because you first loved me.