Testimony.

So I just did a post but... here's another one! For missions training, we had to share our testimony, so I thought I'd share it on here :)

Probably like many of y'all who are reading this, I grew up in a Christian home with great parents who taught me all about God's word and his love for me and how he died on the cross to forgive my sins. I loved Sunday school and when I learned how to "read" in Preschool... more like my parents read to me so much, I memorized my favorite books... I loved reading these Bible stories that we had that had like 4 words on a page... literally. I love that about a little kids faith. Its so simple, and they know so little, yet they trust the Lord. I wish I could be like that now! But, anyways, two of my favorite stories were when Jesus calms the storm (Matt. 8:23-27) and Jesus' first miracle, when He turned water to wine (John 2:1-11). I feel like now, we so often overlook miracles and how real they are. God is a powerful God and he works miracles every day. Some are obvious, more physical ones, but the Lord also moves mountains in our lives. As strong as my faith was when I was little, I drifted from the Lord when we moved to Pittsburgh. I had lived in North Carolina all my life, so as a 12 year old, I was NOT ready to experience something new. It wasn't like I hated God or even necessarily blamed him for my family having to move, but I just kinda quit caring. I hated leaving my friends and didn't think I would ever make new ones. So, when we moved to Pittsburgh, I just pretty much shut God out. After living in Pittsburgh for 9 months, we moved back to Raleigh. 3 months later, my parents announced to us that we were moving to Birmingham, which of course set me off all over again. I had just made friends again in Raleigh, we lived right down the street from one of my best friends to this day, my grandparents were 5 minutes away and I loved my school. Then we just picked up and left my life that I loved to come somewhere new... again. Moving to Birmingham was even worse, because I was so excited about moving back to Raleigh and then it lasted for 3 months. When I moved to Bham, people were so sweet and welcoming and I made friends fast... friends that I still have 3 years later. But, I was still just mad, and I didn't make the most out of that year. I didn't like going to church and I was mad at my parents for moving again. Over the year, things got better, but I still had just kinda put the Lord out of my life all together. That summer, I got involved in the youth group since I was headed into junior high and made even more amazing friends, but still didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. In August of my 7th grade year, I went to Elevation, and annual in-town weekend retreat at my church with amazing worship and a great speaker. It was the first time I had felt the Lords present. I was overwhelmed with a peace, but I didn't really get that it was coming from my Father. I accepted Christ as my Savior, but still didn't really get it. At Breakthru, a retreat over Christmas break that same year, I understood more and more what it meant for Jesus to live in my life and to have a PERSONAL relationship with him. Elevation and Breakthru were both unlike anything I had ever experienced and the Lord moved my heart. Ever since that August, I've been a Christian and committed myself to becoming closer and closer with the Lord. My life is still far from perfect, but without Jesus, I couldn't do it. That 7th grade year, I learned a verse that I love! "Be kind in the way you act toward outsiders, making the most of EVERY opportunity. Let your conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:5-6) Lately, I've felt myself busy and not having time for the Lord. With finishing up school; taking tests, writing essays, studying for exams, I've pushed the Lord into a corner of my life where I think if I do my devotion every day thats fine. But, thats wrong. Jesus is my FRIEND and if I talked to my friends for 5 minutes a day and that was it, we wouldn't be best friends. So, despite my busy schedule, I'm learning to make more time for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5). We must ABIDE in God and TRUST him in ALL circumstances. There have been some situations lately making it hard to trust him and I constantly have to remember to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding, but in all my ways, acknowledge HIM and HE will make my path straight." (Proverbs 4:5-6). So, thats pretty much it. Sorry it was so long :)

Blessed be your name.

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
------

That song is such a challenge to me. Like for real "Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering"? That is so hard! Yesterday was just not a good day. Well, actually, it was a really really really good day, but then there was just some not good stuff mixed in with it. Last night, I sat on the phone with Ash and we just both cried for like ohmygosh I don't even know how long. And then she started telling me how her problems felt so little compared to so many others, and here we were crying over them. People are dying, struggling through cancer, trying to find food and don't know where there next meal is coming from. Its crazy how insignificant our problems are, yet we think they are so big. I was so reminded of God's plan. Through EVERYTHING. I don't know what His plan is....

okay, hold on, pause... Ash, American Honey is on ;)

...But, like I honestly don't know what the Lord's plan is for my life or anybody else's and so frequently, I don't trust the Lord with my life! He CREATED me, I'm pretty sure he does indeed know what's best for me. So, God, Blessed be your name, even on the road marked with suffering. Help me trust you, FULLY, with my life God. Let my lifesong sing to you. As I was talking to Ash, we were doing my Bible study together over the phone. Just looking up verses and stuff. And, every single verse we looked up was exactly what we needed. Talk about a God thing. Okay, wow, another God thing. I was flipping through my Bible to find the verses to put on here, and guess what verse I came across. "Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as dead weight... But blessed is the man who trusts in God and the woman who sticks with God." (Jeremiah 17:5, 7) Wow. God is amazing.

Here are some of the verses:

"You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another." ~Proverbs 27:17

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ~James 4:14-15

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:12

"For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of self-control." ~2 Timothy 1:7

"By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home." ~Hebrews 11:8

"Give [God's word] plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct each other using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives--words, actions, whatever--be done in the name of the Master Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." ~Colossians 3:16-17

So, God, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. God, even in trials and suffering. No matter what we're going through, Father. We will trust you. We love you so much.

Doesn't understand.

I don't really understand a lot of things. Like a whole whole WHOLE lot of things. Like math. Period. It makes NO sense. And, books... like The Great Gatsby... um talk about CONFUSING! And, pretty much anything else that relates to school... cept history makes sense :) And, lots of things my mother says... like getting in trouble for not wearing sunscreen because I might burn up and die or something. I'm not even burned! And, why things can't just BE clean, without me having to clean them. And why my sister has to hog the computer. And, a whole lot of other things. But I'm rambling, so now I'm gonna stop. But, I really don't get how a judges brain works. I personally think I would make a much better judge than some of the ones in Alabama. But whatever. No, not whatever. It's really totally super kinda a lot not fair! So, one of my very best friend on the entire earth ever's little sister got taken away by DHR and now she's not coming home. Ever. Loooooong story short. For the long version, go to the "Bring Kayden Home(Please Join)" group on Facebook. But, basically, its not fair. But, apparently, its God's plan, so we're gonna have to trust Him. Even though I'm pretty much failing in that area at the moment. But, for real, I truly TRUST that God does indeed have a plan, but at the moment, thats another thing I don't understand. AT ALL. God's mind is like way hugely bigger than mine (clearly... since I've already listed off half a million things I "don't understand"...), but sometimes, I would just love if he would let me in on his plan just a little bit in advance. But, then again, then that would defeat the point of having faith.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 4:5-6

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your GOD is with you, WHEREVER you go." ~Joshua 1:9

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future'". ~Jerimiah 29:11

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, let your requests be made known to God. And let the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in CHRIST JESUS." ~Philippians 4:6-7


Those verses are all such overused and misunderstood verses. Or a better word/words would be not thought about. People.. including me.... frequently use all four of those verses without thinking about them. God has a PLAN. For EACH one of us. Not just A plan but a PERFECT plan. We have to TRUST his plan though. We often look past the "lean not on your own understanding part". I mean, I think I've clarified my lack of understanding about a lot of things... which is the whole point of that verse. Lean NOT on YOUR understanding but TRUST in the LORD's. Do not be anxious, but let the PEACE of GOD which surpasses all UNDERSTANDING, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. What a powerful verse! God is with you WHEREVER YOU GO, so do not be terrified or discouraged. Despite my lack of understanding, I thank the Lord that he has a plan. God, help me trust you!

Not my will, but YOURS be done! (Luke 22:42)

Soo... Its been awhile. Yeah, I know, I'm doing a terrible job at updating... ; )

But. Okay. Here are just some verses and thoughts from our mission training for the Hale County 2010 trip!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off all that hinders and the evil that so easily entangles, and let us run with PERSEVERANCE the race marked out for us." ~Hebrews 12:1

I think its significant here that we are to run with perseverance. God doesn't just call us to run, but to run without giving up. To stand out and be different. To Persevere.

"Let the message of Christ COMPLETELY fill your lives, while you use ALL your wisdom to teach and instruct each OTHER. With thankful hearts, sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And WHATEVER you do, whether in word or deed, do it ALL through the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to him to God the Father." ~Colossians 3:16-17

Ohmygosh. I love this! (Even though I didn't exactly memorize it like I was supposed to...) Clearly, we are supposed to give God 100%. Completely, whatever, all. Those words mean not just half way, but all the way. For God. To HIS glory. Serving others. Not once does God's word say 'Use ALL your wisdom to serve YOURSELF'. Or 'Use some of your wisdom to serve others'. No, He tells us, no try commands, us to give him our all! To give thanks to Him as we serve others. Yeah, thats kinda not what our world operates on is it? Nope. Thats why its GOD'S word. Because God is different... an EXCELLENT kind of different! We are called to stand out by serving others while giving thanks to God. I pray that for myself as well as our whole entire team of students going on the mission trips. That not only would we serve God with willing hearts, but that as we work for others that we would THANK him for such an amazing opportunity to be salt and light to the world!

"The grass withers and flowers fall, but the word of God stand forever." ~Isaiah 40:8

This one is simple, but still amazing. Things on earth, including us, are temporary and don't last forever. But the WORD OF GOD lasts FOREVER. For all of eternity!

"All scripture is GOD-BREATHED and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be THOROUGHLY equipped for EVERY GOOD work." ~2 Timothy 3:16-17

This verse just shows me how useful the Bible is. I mean, duh, God wrote it for a purpose, but I love the specifics of this verse. Scripture has God's breath on it! How amazing! It helps us be COMPLETELY prepared for anything!! Don't you just love God? He makes things so easy for us, giving us his word as a guide, yet we ignore the Bible and make everything so difficult!

"Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING, through prayer and petition, let your requests be made known to God. And, let the PEACE of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7

Again, notice the anything, everything, and all. God isn't a half-hearted God, He does everything full out and wants us to do the same! Also, peace is so amazing! We rarely let Christ's peace fully soak in us, but when it does, it can help us accomplish amazing things! Let God's peace GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS!!!

Oh, and I almost forgot the whole title of my post... haha. Okay, well my favorite favorite verse from mission training so far is "But please, not my will, but yours be done." ~Luke 22:42

Such a great reminder to focus on God's plan for our lives instead of dwelling on what we want!

Random songs... :)

My God is not dead,
He is surely alive,
Living on the inside,
Roaring like a lion
***

I need you, Jesus
To come to my rescue,
Where else can I go?
***

Because my sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free,
For God the Just is satisfied,
To look on Him and Pardon me
***

You never give up on me,
You never give up on me,
Though I'm weak and I'm strong,
You've told me I still belong,
No, you'll never, Never give up on me
***

We will shine like stars in the universe,
Holding out Your truth in the darkest place.
We'll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we'll be living for Your glory.

We will burn so bright with Your praise O God,
And declare Your light to this broken world.
We'll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we'll be living for Your glory.
***

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.
***

:)

"GOOD Friday"? ...A cry of VICTORY not defeat.

Happy Good Friday. Or not really happy, or good for that matter... because our Lord died, but on the other hand amazing, because he died for US. The "Good" Friday service at my church tonight was AMAZING! Marcus, our pastoral intern, did the sermon and it was soooo good and SaraBeth sang (!!!) and ohmygosh, I just absolutely loved it!! We sang In Christ Alone, The Power of the Cross, There is a Fountain, Lead Me to the Crosss, and I can't remember what else.


In Christ alone,
My hope is found,
He is my strength,
My life, My song...
----
This, the power of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

This, the power of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross...
----
There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel's veins
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains

Lose all their guilty stains
Lose all their guilty stains
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day
And there may I, though vile as he
Wash all my sins away...
----
Lead me to the cross,
Where your love poured out,
Bring me to my knees,
Lord, I lay me down

Rid me of myself,
I belong to you
Oh, lead me,
Lead me to the cross...

Well, that was a lot of songs, but honestly, truly, take some time to read through those lyrics. No joke. Do it... yeah now.







Okay. Wasn't that worth five minutes of your day? Did you think about the words? Because tonight I did. They struck me in a whole new way. Lead Me to the Cross gets me every single time... "Rid me of myself"??? Talk about humbling. It's not everyday that we say "Rid me of myself". I mean, really. That's completely admitting you're wrong... telling God to TAKE OVER your life... your full life... not just the parts you tell him to, but surrendering your WHOLE self to him. Trust me. You have NO idea how hard that is for me. You shoulda seen me this morning, fighting with my mom. Um, yeah, to say the least, I was NOT letting God "rid me of myself". Not at all. We all have our moments... I will be the first to admit that! We're are sinful; not a day goes by that we don't sin. But sin isn't necessary. Can't we at least try our hardest to keep God in mind... truly IN MIND... THROUGHOUT the ENTIRE day? That is my prayer this Easter. To LOVE the Lord with my whole heart. To TRUST him with my life. To SURRENDER my whole self, yeah, you heard me. WHOLE SELF. To Him. Him ALONE. God shouldn't be "first", but he should be "only". I'm proud to be in a RELATIONSHIP with Christ. A relationship. That means two people... not just God. ME and God. Which involves me LOVING the Lord with a whole heart, TRUSTING him with my life, and SURRENDERING my whole self to him. So, I got a little off topic with what we talked about at church tonight, but on my blog posts I normally just type out my thoughts as they come to me. And, as I'm SURE you've noticed, I have quite a random brain ;) But, back to Easter...

Marcus talked about how loving Jesus was to die for us. Well, duh. Everybody talks about that at Easter. Yeah, I know. But think about it. Jesus' death was unlike ANYBODY elses. EVER. He took on the SIN of the WORLD. Even his own father turned from him. Imagine not just the physical pain, but the spiritual pain. And yet,
Jesus cried out
"In anguish, not anger.
Compassion, not resentment.
Submission, not rebellion.
Victory, not defeat."
His last words "It is finished". A cry of VICTORY, not defeat. THAT is the true meaning of Easter. Jesus, a humble, sinless, perfect man. Son of God. Died. For US. His father turned away from him. The people mocked him. Spat on him. Pierced him. Stabbed him. KILLED him. Yeah, KILLED. Like as in dead. Not only dead, but died the Most. Painful. Death. EVER. Ever seen the Passion of the Christ? Um, yeah. That sorta sums it all up. (And, I haven't even seen all of it!) Throughout all of it, JESUS CRIED OUT IN VICTORY, NOT DEFEAT. Victory? Over being killed? Doesn't make much since, does it? But, Jesus paid the ULTIMATE PRICE. The price that was so worth paying. He loved us so much, that he DIED to save a bunch of scrappy, sinful men that were mocking him and killed him. Talk about LOVE. So, that's pretty much it. VICTORY. Just think about it : )