TRUST.

Ohmygoodness. Every time I post, I SAY I'm gonna post again soon, and then I don't. Sorry :/. And, after this, I'm not sure if I'll post again for a while. Possibly next week when I get back from my mission trip to Hale County, but probably not til after camp in like 6 weeks! Butttt, anyways. I've been like insanely busy. Exams, end of the year parties, babysitting, Em came!!!, packing... its been kindaaa crazy. Only kinda. ;) Because of all thats been going on, I feel like I've drifted away from the Lord and just not spent enough time in the Word. So, this past week I've been trying so hard to give myself fully to the Lord. I mean, yes, I'm still packing like crazy getting ready for this summer, and although that needs to happen, God is more important. I often forget that and stray away from him when I "dont have time". The thing is... it should be the other way around. God should be FIRST in my life. If I keep him as my first priority, then everything will fall into place after that. This is kinda random... but once I explain, I promise it'll fit in :) Last year, I thought about going to public school, but ended up deciding to stay at co-op. However, this year, I've prayed and prayed and prayed and I strongly feel that the Lord has called me to leave co-op and go to Vestavia. Its one of the hardest decisions I've ever made... all my very very best friends go to co-op, and I can't even begin to imagine school without them. I mean, DUH, I'm still gonna see them, but not like every other day. (Lex and Kay and Ash, I'm gonna miss our parking lot conversations... BIG TIME. Soooo, we can still have those kind of discussions on the phone :)) But, anyways, for a while when I first started thinking about Vestavia, I prayed so much and thrived by living in God's word. But, lately, the more I think about it, the more I get mad. I mean, yeah, I am excited about going to Vestavia. I know people from church and stuff, but its not like my same group of best friends. I really can't wait, but I just wish I could stay at co-op. But, I just don't get why me of all people has to be the one to leave. So, I've kinda... not like intentionally... but because of my frustration over that decision, thats also been part of my drifting. This past week, the Lord has laid the topic of trust on my heart. "When I am afraid, I will TRUST in you. " "TRUST in the Lord with all you heart and all your soul and all your mind." "But I TRUST in you, Oh Lord. I say 'You are my God.'" And, one of my favorites:

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; TRUST in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." ~Psalm 37:4-6

By trusting him, the Lord will reveal his plan for me. HIS plan. Not my plan, but his. I trust in him that he will use me as an example at Vestavia, and let the "justice of my cause [shine] like the noonday sun." I'm gonna miss my friends so much, but I am CONFIDENT that I will still get to see them! They can come to Vestavia football games and I'll still go to ECS games :) As hard as God's plan is for me to grasp, he has a purpose for my life and he will use me in ways that I can't even imagine. One last thing, then I promise I'll quit rambling :) When I was flying home from North Carolina about two weeks ago, we saw and AMAZING rainbow as we were heading down to the ground. Took it on my phone so its not a great picture butttt.... its still pretty :)

Then a few days ago, I was in the car and I saw another one! It was aboslutely amazing! (Okayyy, well forget the picture on this one.. its not loading, but it was a beautiful rainbow and you could see every single color!!) Anyways, both times, I was reminded of the Lord's promises. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is with us all the time, guiding us and walking with us through everything. Even though I've been busy and had such a hard time with my school decision, the Lord is right there with me!!!

The Battle for Lucinda's Heart: Briarwood Ballet 2010

Ohmygoodness. I do not have words to describe how amazing the B'wood Ballet performance was!!! Like, ohmygosh. I just, I just don't even know. It was AMAZING! All my friends were beautiful and I'm so proud of each and every one of them!! Here are some pictures :)



Love these Immanuel girls :)


Mrs. Barker!!!


Empress Shelly ;)


McKenzie was the main character, Lucinda, and she was absolutely perfect!


Kay and Anna as the Spider and Little Miss Muffet :)


Sarah as the ballerina doll! She danced beautifully!!


Emily and all the other trees from the forest scene!


Dawn :)


Courtiers! LOVE their costumes!


Finale :)

Aren't they gorgeous?! Yep. So, if you didn't come this year, you missed out big time, buttttt that just means you'll have to come next year!! :)

Pslams 105:1-6

"Hallelujah! Thank God! Pray to him by name! Tell everyone you meet what he has done! Sing him songs, belt out hymns, translate his wonders into music! Honor his holy name with Hallelujahs, you who seek God. Live a happy life! Keep your eyes open for God, watch for his works; be alert for signs of his presence. Remember the world of wonders he has made, his miracles, and the verdicts he's rendered- O seed of Abraham, his servant, O child of Jacob, his chosen."

Testimony.

So I just did a post but... here's another one! For missions training, we had to share our testimony, so I thought I'd share it on here :)

Probably like many of y'all who are reading this, I grew up in a Christian home with great parents who taught me all about God's word and his love for me and how he died on the cross to forgive my sins. I loved Sunday school and when I learned how to "read" in Preschool... more like my parents read to me so much, I memorized my favorite books... I loved reading these Bible stories that we had that had like 4 words on a page... literally. I love that about a little kids faith. Its so simple, and they know so little, yet they trust the Lord. I wish I could be like that now! But, anyways, two of my favorite stories were when Jesus calms the storm (Matt. 8:23-27) and Jesus' first miracle, when He turned water to wine (John 2:1-11). I feel like now, we so often overlook miracles and how real they are. God is a powerful God and he works miracles every day. Some are obvious, more physical ones, but the Lord also moves mountains in our lives. As strong as my faith was when I was little, I drifted from the Lord when we moved to Pittsburgh. I had lived in North Carolina all my life, so as a 12 year old, I was NOT ready to experience something new. It wasn't like I hated God or even necessarily blamed him for my family having to move, but I just kinda quit caring. I hated leaving my friends and didn't think I would ever make new ones. So, when we moved to Pittsburgh, I just pretty much shut God out. After living in Pittsburgh for 9 months, we moved back to Raleigh. 3 months later, my parents announced to us that we were moving to Birmingham, which of course set me off all over again. I had just made friends again in Raleigh, we lived right down the street from one of my best friends to this day, my grandparents were 5 minutes away and I loved my school. Then we just picked up and left my life that I loved to come somewhere new... again. Moving to Birmingham was even worse, because I was so excited about moving back to Raleigh and then it lasted for 3 months. When I moved to Bham, people were so sweet and welcoming and I made friends fast... friends that I still have 3 years later. But, I was still just mad, and I didn't make the most out of that year. I didn't like going to church and I was mad at my parents for moving again. Over the year, things got better, but I still had just kinda put the Lord out of my life all together. That summer, I got involved in the youth group since I was headed into junior high and made even more amazing friends, but still didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. In August of my 7th grade year, I went to Elevation, and annual in-town weekend retreat at my church with amazing worship and a great speaker. It was the first time I had felt the Lords present. I was overwhelmed with a peace, but I didn't really get that it was coming from my Father. I accepted Christ as my Savior, but still didn't really get it. At Breakthru, a retreat over Christmas break that same year, I understood more and more what it meant for Jesus to live in my life and to have a PERSONAL relationship with him. Elevation and Breakthru were both unlike anything I had ever experienced and the Lord moved my heart. Ever since that August, I've been a Christian and committed myself to becoming closer and closer with the Lord. My life is still far from perfect, but without Jesus, I couldn't do it. That 7th grade year, I learned a verse that I love! "Be kind in the way you act toward outsiders, making the most of EVERY opportunity. Let your conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:5-6) Lately, I've felt myself busy and not having time for the Lord. With finishing up school; taking tests, writing essays, studying for exams, I've pushed the Lord into a corner of my life where I think if I do my devotion every day thats fine. But, thats wrong. Jesus is my FRIEND and if I talked to my friends for 5 minutes a day and that was it, we wouldn't be best friends. So, despite my busy schedule, I'm learning to make more time for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5). We must ABIDE in God and TRUST him in ALL circumstances. There have been some situations lately making it hard to trust him and I constantly have to remember to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding, but in all my ways, acknowledge HIM and HE will make my path straight." (Proverbs 4:5-6). So, thats pretty much it. Sorry it was so long :)

Blessed be your name.

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
------

That song is such a challenge to me. Like for real "Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering"? That is so hard! Yesterday was just not a good day. Well, actually, it was a really really really good day, but then there was just some not good stuff mixed in with it. Last night, I sat on the phone with Ash and we just both cried for like ohmygosh I don't even know how long. And then she started telling me how her problems felt so little compared to so many others, and here we were crying over them. People are dying, struggling through cancer, trying to find food and don't know where there next meal is coming from. Its crazy how insignificant our problems are, yet we think they are so big. I was so reminded of God's plan. Through EVERYTHING. I don't know what His plan is....

okay, hold on, pause... Ash, American Honey is on ;)

...But, like I honestly don't know what the Lord's plan is for my life or anybody else's and so frequently, I don't trust the Lord with my life! He CREATED me, I'm pretty sure he does indeed know what's best for me. So, God, Blessed be your name, even on the road marked with suffering. Help me trust you, FULLY, with my life God. Let my lifesong sing to you. As I was talking to Ash, we were doing my Bible study together over the phone. Just looking up verses and stuff. And, every single verse we looked up was exactly what we needed. Talk about a God thing. Okay, wow, another God thing. I was flipping through my Bible to find the verses to put on here, and guess what verse I came across. "Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as dead weight... But blessed is the man who trusts in God and the woman who sticks with God." (Jeremiah 17:5, 7) Wow. God is amazing.

Here are some of the verses:

"You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another." ~Proverbs 27:17

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ~James 4:14-15

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:12

"For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of self-control." ~2 Timothy 1:7

"By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home." ~Hebrews 11:8

"Give [God's word] plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct each other using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives--words, actions, whatever--be done in the name of the Master Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." ~Colossians 3:16-17

So, God, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. God, even in trials and suffering. No matter what we're going through, Father. We will trust you. We love you so much.

Doesn't understand.

I don't really understand a lot of things. Like a whole whole WHOLE lot of things. Like math. Period. It makes NO sense. And, books... like The Great Gatsby... um talk about CONFUSING! And, pretty much anything else that relates to school... cept history makes sense :) And, lots of things my mother says... like getting in trouble for not wearing sunscreen because I might burn up and die or something. I'm not even burned! And, why things can't just BE clean, without me having to clean them. And why my sister has to hog the computer. And, a whole lot of other things. But I'm rambling, so now I'm gonna stop. But, I really don't get how a judges brain works. I personally think I would make a much better judge than some of the ones in Alabama. But whatever. No, not whatever. It's really totally super kinda a lot not fair! So, one of my very best friend on the entire earth ever's little sister got taken away by DHR and now she's not coming home. Ever. Loooooong story short. For the long version, go to the "Bring Kayden Home(Please Join)" group on Facebook. But, basically, its not fair. But, apparently, its God's plan, so we're gonna have to trust Him. Even though I'm pretty much failing in that area at the moment. But, for real, I truly TRUST that God does indeed have a plan, but at the moment, thats another thing I don't understand. AT ALL. God's mind is like way hugely bigger than mine (clearly... since I've already listed off half a million things I "don't understand"...), but sometimes, I would just love if he would let me in on his plan just a little bit in advance. But, then again, then that would defeat the point of having faith.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 4:5-6

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your GOD is with you, WHEREVER you go." ~Joshua 1:9

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future'". ~Jerimiah 29:11

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, let your requests be made known to God. And let the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in CHRIST JESUS." ~Philippians 4:6-7


Those verses are all such overused and misunderstood verses. Or a better word/words would be not thought about. People.. including me.... frequently use all four of those verses without thinking about them. God has a PLAN. For EACH one of us. Not just A plan but a PERFECT plan. We have to TRUST his plan though. We often look past the "lean not on your own understanding part". I mean, I think I've clarified my lack of understanding about a lot of things... which is the whole point of that verse. Lean NOT on YOUR understanding but TRUST in the LORD's. Do not be anxious, but let the PEACE of GOD which surpasses all UNDERSTANDING, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. What a powerful verse! God is with you WHEREVER YOU GO, so do not be terrified or discouraged. Despite my lack of understanding, I thank the Lord that he has a plan. God, help me trust you!

Not my will, but YOURS be done! (Luke 22:42)

Soo... Its been awhile. Yeah, I know, I'm doing a terrible job at updating... ; )

But. Okay. Here are just some verses and thoughts from our mission training for the Hale County 2010 trip!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off all that hinders and the evil that so easily entangles, and let us run with PERSEVERANCE the race marked out for us." ~Hebrews 12:1

I think its significant here that we are to run with perseverance. God doesn't just call us to run, but to run without giving up. To stand out and be different. To Persevere.

"Let the message of Christ COMPLETELY fill your lives, while you use ALL your wisdom to teach and instruct each OTHER. With thankful hearts, sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And WHATEVER you do, whether in word or deed, do it ALL through the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to him to God the Father." ~Colossians 3:16-17

Ohmygosh. I love this! (Even though I didn't exactly memorize it like I was supposed to...) Clearly, we are supposed to give God 100%. Completely, whatever, all. Those words mean not just half way, but all the way. For God. To HIS glory. Serving others. Not once does God's word say 'Use ALL your wisdom to serve YOURSELF'. Or 'Use some of your wisdom to serve others'. No, He tells us, no try commands, us to give him our all! To give thanks to Him as we serve others. Yeah, thats kinda not what our world operates on is it? Nope. Thats why its GOD'S word. Because God is different... an EXCELLENT kind of different! We are called to stand out by serving others while giving thanks to God. I pray that for myself as well as our whole entire team of students going on the mission trips. That not only would we serve God with willing hearts, but that as we work for others that we would THANK him for such an amazing opportunity to be salt and light to the world!

"The grass withers and flowers fall, but the word of God stand forever." ~Isaiah 40:8

This one is simple, but still amazing. Things on earth, including us, are temporary and don't last forever. But the WORD OF GOD lasts FOREVER. For all of eternity!

"All scripture is GOD-BREATHED and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be THOROUGHLY equipped for EVERY GOOD work." ~2 Timothy 3:16-17

This verse just shows me how useful the Bible is. I mean, duh, God wrote it for a purpose, but I love the specifics of this verse. Scripture has God's breath on it! How amazing! It helps us be COMPLETELY prepared for anything!! Don't you just love God? He makes things so easy for us, giving us his word as a guide, yet we ignore the Bible and make everything so difficult!

"Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING, through prayer and petition, let your requests be made known to God. And, let the PEACE of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7

Again, notice the anything, everything, and all. God isn't a half-hearted God, He does everything full out and wants us to do the same! Also, peace is so amazing! We rarely let Christ's peace fully soak in us, but when it does, it can help us accomplish amazing things! Let God's peace GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS!!!

Oh, and I almost forgot the whole title of my post... haha. Okay, well my favorite favorite verse from mission training so far is "But please, not my will, but yours be done." ~Luke 22:42

Such a great reminder to focus on God's plan for our lives instead of dwelling on what we want!